vacation mode

Today is a particularly lazy day.

Ever since I started this webwriting raket (more than a week ago) I've made out a simple schedule that, I figured, would allow me to finish my daily quota and study/do research at the same time. Mornings are devoted to writing about cordless telephones, while afternoons are supposed to be spent working on my LGU/ARMM research for Dr R or reading up for my thesis or for teaching. It sounds all well and good, and I've managed to stick to that schedule one way or another.

Until today, that is. 

For some reason, my brain just wants to do something else aside from the tasks specified above. It's taken me 3 hours to write 3 100-word reviews of weatherproof long-range cordless telephones. 

I think my brain wants to be at the beach, reading a good novel, staring out into the sea, feeling the sunshine without caring about UV rays and whatnot.

I have half a mind to just get a backpack full of things this weekend and head off to some beach even just for a day. It's a long weekend after all, and days like this are meant for staying at the beach, not in front of the computer. 

things that need to be said

Thank you.

I sometimes feel that I don't deserve the really beautiful and great things that happen in my life.

But this time I don't want to question it or deny it. I just want to say thanks. I'm happy to see you happy, and I'm happy to see you so ready and unhesitant about the world ahead. I'm glad to see you so brave.

listmania: the news edition

1. I'll be teaching, for real, in June. I'm excited to finally get to handle my own class. I'm scared, too, because I'm the type of person who fears the unknown. I'm getting better at handling it, though.
2. Last March, I got my first cupcake catering job! It was for a 1st birthday. Unlike the last time I baked for someone beyond my family and the people at the dep, I felt good about taking this job. A bit nervous, of course, but there was no queasy feeling in my stomach, no inner voice telling me to stop right now and take those cupcakes home. You see, I've been afraid of going back to baking again after a particularly tough experience: I had my cupcakes panned by a food writer who I really respected. For weeks I'd get headaches when I'd be near an oven; I'd taken to avoiding the baking supplies aisle in the supermarket, even. Looking back, it seems extremely silly! (By the way, you can find pictures of my catered cupcakes here and here.
3. I currently have a webwriting raket that amuses me to no end. It's quite difficult, to tell the truth, especially for me. I've long hung up my writer's cap and I am horribly out of practise. Luckily, all I have to do is write reviews for various electronic products, but I have to sound like a different (British) person every time. My favorite characters so far have been the grandson who bought his grandmother a large-button cordless phone for her birthday, and the mother of two who finally found an appliance that could withstand her two hyperactive boys.
4. Kapiand I recently got into a new hobby, fish keeping.Particularly Betta splendens, which is the scientific name of what we commonly know as the siamese fighting fish. These aren't the ones sold in little plastic drink cups at pet stores, though; these are powerful and feisty fish with amazing finnage. They have "personalities," individual behavioral quirks. They also recognize you when you're in the room. I now keep three fish, all in separate tanks. One is a male of a rich red color, and incredibly active and aggressive; the second is a blue male, recently recovered from an illness; and the newest one is a pure white fish, just 2 months old, still baby-like. Kapi has 5, and recently bred two of his fish so now he has about 30 fry. This stuff is seriously addictive. We're also proud members of the Betta Club of the Philippines, the only International Betta Congress (IBC) certified betta organization in the country.
5. I recommend this to everyone: Ashtanga Yoga. Although I only get to practise it 2x a week at most, it's done wonders for the way I think and the way I feel. Got introduced to it though a free class (every Sunday) at San Lorenzo Village, Makati. I plan to start real lessons soon, hopefully by next week.
6. I've been reading some books for my  thesis. Thesis! The very word sounds a bit intimidating. Much of what I want to say is still a vague cloud of thought; I'm hoping that it takes shape sooner than later. I just want to get it out of the way!
7. A new wardrobe is at the top of my current wish list. A look into my closet shows plenty of t-shirts and plenty of dresses, but barely anything in that in-between place that called "approachable authority figure." Not to mention needing a new pair of jeans.
8. In the first week of March, I received a text from my father that wasn't for me. It was addressed to someone named "kitty." It wasn't the first time he'd missent such a message to me; what bothered me was the speed with which he suddenly tried to cover it up and make light of it. I was crushed; my only suspicion, which I had (and still have) no way of verifying was that he was having an affair. I was crushed for weeks. I didn't want to see people. I didn't want to talk to friends, especially those I knew from college. I drowned myself in work–after all, it was the last 2 weeks of classes, and there was a lot of work to do. I don't know why I took it so personally. I'm still disappointed, but I've moved on, and gotten myself back together.
9. Two weeks ago, I woke up one morning and realized that I don't have to live up to anyone else's expectations except my own. And Life has been so much better since then.

something i just figured out today

Why I felt bad–not because I felt bad or angry; not because I didn't agree with you. Lord knows how immature I can be. Hehe. Ask Kapi.

If you attack people anonymously, you've already violated the space that should have been the space for dialogue.

—

I just read the best-ever (well, at least the best in the last year or two) philosophy paper from Dr. G's Ph102 class. What a joy to read.

moving on

I have better things to think about.

:)