well, what do you have to say for yourself?

May 9, 2008

When I first started blogging in 2002, I did it for the heck of it–it was another opportunity to write, and it was a good way to keep in touch with friends. It was easier, in my mind, to read people’s blogs and post to my own blog, rather than flood people’s inboxes with emails.

Flash forward to 2008. It only occurred to me that I’ve been blogging, on and off, for six years. That is the amount of time that it takes for a baby to reach school age. That is the amount of time a twelve year-old has to wait before she can legally drink alcohol. 

In those six years, my blog(s) have chronicled–at least in my estimation–most major milestones in my life. One of my earliest posts in my pitas.com account was about my ambivalent feelings for Kapi when he first began courting me. The little dramas in the Heights edboard. My political advocacies. My long-running dislike of George W. Bush. College graduation is there, too. Many rants about my mother.

Somewhere in the middle of my pitas archives are my sporadic entries from my JVP year. Towards the end, the morass that was the two years post-JVP that I struggled through. (Of course, those significant events were punctuated by a lot of angst-y drivel, a lot of memes [which weren’t yet called memes, come to think of it!], and the random internet quiz, done to while away the time.) 

 

a screenshot of my pitas blog

Over the course of those six years, many things have happened because of my blogging. I haven’t transformed humanity (yet) or reduced poverty, but I have helped spread the word about JVP. I’ve hurt many people, and have been hurt back. I’ve started fights, I’ve ended fights. Last year, my mom found my old blog, and read my angst-ridden, teenaged posts about how "unfair" she is, and about how much I "hate" her. Needless to say, that hurt her, and I could do nothing to stop her being hurt.

So why is it that I still blog, regardless of how sporadic?

Why is it that I still blog, especially with instances like that episode with my mother?

Napaisip talaga ako.

 

Postscript:

What brought this on was really my participation in an FGD (focus-group discussion) conducted by the people at dotPH–yes, the same people who host my blogs.

I was very apprehensive at first, because I felt that I’m not really a much-read blogger (unless you count the chipper cupcakes blog, but I guess they did take that into consideration). So, Kapi asked me, "Why did you say ‘yes’ in the first place?"

The first thing out of my mouth was: "Because I’ve never been in an FGD, and I wonder what it’s like."

Kapi and I shared a good, positive laugh about that, and I went to the FGD with a light heart.